For the longest time, I didn't make anything. I didn't even think about making anything. I was in the depths of depression. It was a time of nothingness, of non-existence. When I finally began to slowly crawl out of the abyss, I started having thoughts again. Creative thoughts. I still didn't make any thing, but I created lovely things in my mind. They are gone forever. I learned long ago not to bother with writing down or drawing a good idea. Either I make it when I have it, or it just never is worth making at all. If I draw it and go back to it later, something has died in the interim. Try as I might, I can't make it work.

I hear the words often enough: "You're so creative." I'm not entirely sure what that really means. Maybe it has become a nicety, like greeting people with "Hello, how are you?" - expecting they will follow the rules and reply with "I'm fine, how are you?" What does it really take to create something? There has to be the idea, and the motivation to do it, the energy, the ability to get away from life's obligations in order to have the time and space to pursue it ..... hmm, this is beginning to sound a bit like the contemporary couple's sex life. Does this mean I have to schedule creativity? Make a date with my thread and needle? Well, yes! Spending time in the studio, away from the computer end of the room, is half the battle.

I have been working on creating something for an upcoming themed event.  The theme is Flower Power.  I have mulled over so many different ideas. I'll come up with something that seems just perfect. The next day I'll wake up and realize it's not perfect. It is, in fact, trite and ordinary and laughable. How could I have had such a hideous thought? This goes on and on for days. I don't know if it is just plain old procrastination or if it is a truly valuable part of the creative process. I'm very good at procrastination - when the taxes were due and really needed to be worked on, I finally got around to doing a major cleaning of the refrigerator. And when I really should have started this particular project, I finally got around to cleaning out and reorganizing my file cabinets. Like that couldn't have waited a few more weeks ... or years. In the case of this project, I've ended up working on an idea I had way back in the beginning ... the idea that just sat at the edge of my mind all this time, waiting to be embraced for the lovely little gem that it is. I hope I can do it justice.