Slow Progress


Progress on this is slow ... and not in a good way ... not in a slow cloth way.  I have spent too much time ripping out stitches. Still, I am enjoying the process.

 

I don't know about these stitches on top of stitches.  What do you think? Is it interesting or just confusing? Is it too busy? Does it look messy?



This dill was in my New Pond Farm harvest share, which I picked up last Thursday ... so it is in its seventh day since harvest. I am delighted, to say the least. All I've done is keep it in this tiny pitcher with water. No refrigeration. It still looks as good as new. Imagine doing that with supermarket dill ... even a high end grocer.  Seriously ... I usually come home with one of those big bundles and it smells delicious but it doesn't even stay fresh for one day.

Failure That Feels So Good

So, I  failed. I was supposed to have my Flower Power piece, for an upcoming themed event, all ready and photographed by April 21. No way. I couldn't get it right. First I decided my beige background was the problem. So I started all over again with some pretty blue linen I had used to make a dress for Adeline when she was in middle school. Then I decided the woven background was all wrong. So I took it all apart (it was the only blue I had available), ironed out the creases, and started anew with a more organic, wavy background. Finally, I decided I just didn't like how the piece was progressing, no matter what. I  let event sponsor know I wouldn't have my piece ready and he very nicely extended my deadline to April 24th at 6 pm. Not bad!

I started all over again with a totally different idea, using my recycled sweater wool, and I was immediately so much happier. I found all the colors I wanted to use, including a fabulous purple for the background. I did the necessary pressing, cut out all my pieces, arranged and rearranged until I was satisfied with the design, and started stitching.

But, I failed. I realized that I had a mountain of stitching ahead of me. I would have to stitch non-stop for I'm not sure how long. And I still might not finish in time. And if I did finish on time, it would be a thoroughly unpleasant experience for me, and that would undoubtedly imbue the finished piece with bad karma. So, thanks to Doug, I liberated myself. He saw me stressing and imprisoned in the work which was becoming a chore instead of the pleasure it is supposed to be, and he asked, "Is this how you want to live your life?" NO! Thank you, Dougie! 

I did some errands today, because I didn't have to stay home, chained to my work. And then I spent some time in the yard --- what a gorgeous day! And now I can enjoy sewing my piece, just the way I like to --- sometimes in my studio, sometimes in the family room, because I like the company. I can take as long as I need to, in order to get it just right. And I can enjoy the wonderful process.

Ahhhhh ..... isn't failure just perfect? :-)

Beginning

For the longest time, I didn't make anything. I didn't even think about making anything. I was in the depths of depression. It was a time of nothingness, of non-existence. When I finally began to slowly crawl out of the abyss, I started having thoughts again. Creative thoughts. I still didn't make any thing, but I created lovely things in my mind. They are gone forever. I learned long ago not to bother with writing down or drawing a good idea. Either I make it when I have it, or it just never is worth making at all. If I draw it and go back to it later, something has died in the interim. Try as I might, I can't make it work.

I hear the words often enough: "You're so creative." I'm not entirely sure what that really means. Maybe it has become a nicety, like greeting people with "Hello, how are you?" - expecting they will follow the rules and reply with "I'm fine, how are you?" What does it really take to create something? There has to be the idea, and the motivation to do it, the energy, the ability to get away from life's obligations in order to have the time and space to pursue it ..... hmm, this is beginning to sound a bit like the contemporary couple's sex life. Does this mean I have to schedule creativity? Make a date with my thread and needle? Well, yes! Spending time in the studio, away from the computer end of the room, is half the battle.

I have been working on creating something for an upcoming themed event.  The theme is Flower Power.  I have mulled over so many different ideas. I'll come up with something that seems just perfect. The next day I'll wake up and realize it's not perfect. It is, in fact, trite and ordinary and laughable. How could I have had such a hideous thought? This goes on and on for days. I don't know if it is just plain old procrastination or if it is a truly valuable part of the creative process. I'm very good at procrastination - when the taxes were due and really needed to be worked on, I finally got around to doing a major cleaning of the refrigerator. And when I really should have started this particular project, I finally got around to cleaning out and reorganizing my file cabinets. Like that couldn't have waited a few more weeks ... or years. In the case of this project, I've ended up working on an idea I had way back in the beginning ... the idea that just sat at the edge of my mind all this time, waiting to be embraced for the lovely little gem that it is. I hope I can do it justice.