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Morna Crites-Moore

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The lady in the tree

July 6, 2017

Interesting tree. It's calling to me.

It's a lady, trapped in the tree.

There are mushrooms in the garden. I'm guessing it's because I just had the garden beds dressed with nice organic mulch. 

I’ll bet they are delicious and perfectly safe, but no way am I going to test that theory by eating them. There are certain lessons which were hammered into my head as I was growing up in Poughkeepsie, NY:

  1. Don't eat mushrooms in the wild.
  2. Never ever try heroin.
  3. Don't have sex until you are married.

You know what they say: Two outta three ain't bad. :-)

Does anybody know what kind of mushrooms they are? Should I see if I can get some spore prints from them? Or use them in a dye pot?

I found this chimney swift on my dining room floor. Is there a message in this? I have felt a very strong connection with birds this past year, believing them to be spirit guides, here to escort me through the minefield of cancer treatments; here to keep me safe and help me prevail. Birds have been very close ever since last June when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. In recent weeks (months?) I have had a few experiences of seeing birds bid me farewell. Seeing them say their job is done, I don't need them to be such close-by chaperones, I'm going to be okay. And I've wondered: is that true?  

So, dear Swift, did you come to give me a message? What does your death mean? Is it about transition? Your energy has moved on. It may be the end of a cycle for the birds and me ... a door closes and a window opens. The wisdom imparted by "my" birds, the lessons learned these past months, will not be forgotten. And I'm pretty certain my lovely feathered spirit guides will always be here with me when I need them.

This was my father’s old iron lantern and it was in our back yard when I was a kid. Daddy loved his garden and "the Japanese lantern" seemed to play a special role on nights when he would light a candle inside it and we would sit in near darkness, enjoying the flickering illumination of our own private space. I don't know if the lantern actually is Japanese; my father spent some time in Korea before I was born, so maybe it came home with him when he returned. It has been a part of my garden for the last forty years or so and I am now more attached to it than ever. I was startled, in a pleasant sort of way, to see a similar one in Jude's yard. It's nice to run into a distant relative when you least expect it. 

But it seems so odd to me that my father has been gone for more than forty years. That's such a long time. And my mother - I think it's been about thirteen years, but I still feel like she died recently. 

 

Lily says: Good night and sweet dreams.

 
In Nature Tags trees, seeing things, mushrooms, Lily, birds, cats, spirit guide, death, fuck cancer
2 Comments
curiosities-red&green

For the moment

April 22, 2017

The studio clean-up continues

I've hit upon the most scathingly brilliant idea to help me clean up the hideous studio mess. Instead of saving everything and trying to figure out how to store all the stuff I gather and hoard, I'll create nice little collections for other people to use in making their art! Good idea, right? I'm calling them Collections of Curiosities and the first five are up for sale at my WickedWaifVINTAGE Etsy shop. You can click on any of the pictures to see its listing in the Etsy shop.

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Curiosities-Blue
curiosities-amber

Hear ye, Hear ye ... the latest cancer update

The incredibly good news: it appears the tumors have been eradicated, i.e. I do not now have any evidence of cancer. I hesitate to write it, say it, believe it. I do not want to tempt the fates. I didn't even realize the doctors had told me this wonderful news because they are so low key about it. It wasn't until a month or so later that I understood because I mentioned "my cancer" and they told me (again) that there were no tumors left. I was gobsmacked. I kept making them repeat it. I asked, where were the cake and balloons? They smiled their laid back smiles. I love my doctors.

Some less pleasant stuff: A common side effect of the treatment is called Radiation Pneumonitis, and I have it. Geeze Louise, it was hard to believe the good news when I was still coughing and breathless. Now I take a lot of pills and elixirs to treat the inflammation in my lungs and I'm slowly getting better, but some of the pills, probably the Prednisone (a steroid), caused their own hideous side effects which I suffered with, maybe for too long, because my situation became worse and worse until I landed in the ER recently, in agonizing pain. It turns out I have ulcers in my esophagus and a lot of inflammation there and elsewhere. But, I’ve stopped taking the Prednisone and I have pain killers to see me through while the healing takes place. 

 
 

For the moment

And then there is this: I recently saw a pulmonologist in Danbury, someone new to me. He said, "You’re clear of cancer, for the moment." For the moment? Did he really have to add for the moment? That bugs me. Hopefully, it will slide into that place where so many memories get lost, but for now, I just can’t quite shake it.

The warm weather is on its way ...

I'm hoping I'll get more involved in the dying process ... that's as in DYE not DIE. (Macabre humor.)

 
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In The "C" Word, Collections, Fiber/Textiles Tags fuck cancer, collections, blue, pills, side effects, curiosities, eco-dye, red, scathingly brilliant idea
14 Comments

     POPPY PODS :: IF THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL, IF THEY INSPIRE, THEN ARE THEY TRULY DEAD?

Nevermore . . .

January 29, 2017
RAVEN TAKES A STROLL (detail) :: BY JO-ANN GILBANKS CORDES

RAVEN TAKES A STROLL (detail) :: BY JO-ANN GILBANKS CORDES

Doug and I went to the annual Mark Twain Library Art Show Gala in December. It’s a very fun event in our small town - lots of people, lots of art, plenty of passed canapés and champagne. Of course I haven’t had any alcohol in ages - my kidneys are busy enough dealing with the chemo cocktails. 

I visited the library the afternoon before the gala and I was gobsmacked because, as I walked into the library, I was stopped dead in my tracks by this incredible bird, a great big black raven, and he was looking straight at me. I love birds, blackbirds in particular - crows, ravens, call them what you will. And my spirit animal, who showed up to help me with my cancer journey, is a bird. I like to think now that it is a raven. 

That evening I was first in line when the doors opened. I went straight to the acquisitions desk and made Raven Takes a Stroll mine. I was thrilled to know this painting would eventually be at home with me.  

At one point in the evening, I noticed two women gazing upon "my" painting and I joined them. "Do you love it?" I asked. Oh, yes. they did. "Well, it’s MINE!" Kind of cheeky of me, but I was feeling giddy and they didn’t mind at all ... because, one of them was the artist, Jo-Ann Cordes! She and I proceeded to have a wonderful conversation about what the painting means to each of us and, upon discovering we live in neighboring towns, promised to get together in the new year. 

FROM "MY" CHAIR IN THE FAMILY ROOM :: I SEE THE RAVEN AND THE RAVEN SEES ME.

For those of you who are in southwestern Connecticut, Cordes’ Ravens are on display  at the Bethel Public Library, through February 21st (an extension of the show’s original end date).  If you’d like to read an article about her and the show, click HERE.

 
 

Want to know more Raven Lore? Click HERE.

In Artists, Show & Tell Tags spirit guide, fuck cancer
6 Comments
 EVEN WHEN DAYS SEEM FULL OF SHADOWS, THERE ARE MANY WONDERFUL BITS OF BRIGHTNESS ... ONE NEED ONLY LOOK FOR THEM.

 EVEN WHEN DAYS SEEM FULL OF SHADOWS, THERE ARE MANY WONDERFUL BITS OF BRIGHTNESS ... ONE NEED ONLY LOOK FOR THEM.

Darkness and Light

November 12, 2016
SPACER STAR
 

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen -

 
 
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THE CATRE SUTRA

THE CATRE SUTRA

 
In Nature Tags trees, moods, fuck cancer, cats
7 Comments
DAY ONE - OCTOBER 28, 2016 - FAR NORTHWEST CORNER - THE BUSINESS CORNER - MY DESK

DAY ONE - OCTOBER 28, 2016 - FAR NORTHWEST CORNER - THE BUSINESS CORNER - MY DESK

The Studio Truth

October 28, 2016

Can you stand it? Can I? When I say my studio has become a big mess and I can’t even walk through it without fearing I’ll trip and fall ... well, here’s the proof. It’s really bothering me so much, that I have no space in here to actually work. And now, more than ever, I’d really love to be at peace in here, making things. But now, more than ever, I am hideously tired much of the time, so that big clean-up won’t be happening.

I’m going to challenge myself to baby steps. Try to do a bit of clean-up every day. Maybe just a half an hour each day. And I’ll post my progress here, at my blog, under the heading "studio clean-up" in the right column. Wish me luck!

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I am, by the way, quite bald now. I don’t have a photo yet ... it’s not exactly my favorite look! But I do have a wig! I am keeping with my tradition of taking my fuck cancer selfies in public rest rooms - don’t ask me why, because I do not know. Maybe because, oddly enough, the lighting can be flattering! So, here is me in my wig, in the bathroom at Washington Prime in Georgetown, CT - the lighting is an awesome warm color and makes me look rosy rather than pallid. LOL. 

 
IT NEEDS A TRIM, BUT I LIKE IT WELL ENOUGH.

IT NEEDS A TRIM, BUT I LIKE IT WELL ENOUGH.

 
In The Studio Tags studio clean-up challenge, fuck cancer, selfies
21 Comments
faded pink roses

Dear 65

July 23, 2016

Dear 65,

I'm sorry I've treated you with so little respect. You had so much to offer and I just took you for granted. I should have appreciated how lucky I was to have you. Instead, I belittled you and embarrassed you, just to make a joke. I called you my Medicare Year, as if that were all you meant to me. Now, as I approach 66, I realize what a gift you are. 

We have so little time now, but I’ll treat you well for the few hours we have left together. And, hey, I hope it’s not bad luck to say this a wee bit ahead of time, but thank you for carrying me all the way to 66. I truly appreciate it. I only hope 66 will be as kind to me as you were. At least as kind to me as you were for most of the year, mother fucker.

In Life, The "C" Word Tags birthdays, fuck cancer
12 Comments
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